Know your rights

You have the right to speak
But not when spoken to
You have the right to breathe, air is free
But you haven’t the right to regulate air pollution
You have the right to walk on the pavement
Unless you’re in the way of some chav on a motorbike
You have the right to an education
As long as you are taught that there are always winners and losers
You have the right to privacy
Unless it’s in the public interest to invade that privacy
You can criticize the government
Just as long as it isn’t this one
You have the right not to starve
Just as long as you do what we say and tick the right boxes
You have the right not to die of thirst
Just don’t demand clean water, we’re not a charity
You have the right to work
Because you’ll always be a slave
You have the right to happiness
As long as we’re happier
You have the right to medical treatment
As long as you’re enslaved by medication
You have the right to political asylum
Just as long as we can put you in a cage when we feel like it
You have the right to a fair trial
As long as the sentence is decided beforehand
You have the right to vote
For candidates we’ve chosen for you
You have the right to live in a democracy
It’s our democracy we can call it what we like
(updated 30.11.2006)