Taking Orders From William Shatner's Tupee

Enlisted Training: Lesson One-How to point a phaser
Lesson Two-How to stand around and die

Officer Training: Year One-'Dealing with your delusions'
Year Two-How to talk in and understand
technobabble
Year Three-How to seduce green-skinned
aliens
Final Year-How to hit people with a
double-handed fist

Petty Officer qualifications: Faking your delusions; faking
technobabble; and either
seducing green-skinned aliens
or successfully hitting people
with a double-handed fist.

(2.2.2010)